Merry Christmas!

Well I am still at 1000+ blog posts to read.  I'm starting to think I will never catch up.  But I wanted to wish every a Merry Christmas and if I don't blog again before then, a Happy New Year!  My Christmas wish is that 2010 is just as eventful as 2009 but in a good way! 

I hope you all have a great holiday period and that you and your families keep safe and have fun!

Happy Birthday Miss 12 going on 30!

This is a bit late but Happy Birthday to Miss 11 who is now Miss 12!  It may as well be 30 with the way she is acting.  She is scaring me to death.  Only a year until I have a teenage girl in the house and she is pretty much showing me the way it's going to be!  I can't believe how fast she is growing up.  I still remember when she was learning to sit up and she would only do it if she was sitting in the grass and holding onto a ball.  Just a ball, no.  Just sitting in the grass, no.  It had to be both or she would topple over.  It seems like yesterday I would listen to her babble on through the baby monitor at 4 in the morning.  Now she's taller than me.  At least her kindness and generosity hasn't changed and I hope it never does.  Happy Birthday Miss 12!  I'll love you forever.

A New Nightmare

After reading the title of this blog post and knowing me from past blog posts, you are probably now wondering what fresh hell I have gotton myself into this time.  But I am actually talking about actual nightmares.  I've had 2 in the last 2 nights which is a little strange since I haven't had a nightmare in years.  I used to have them all the time, waking up crying and sweating and what not.  But not for ages...until 2 nights ago. 

The first one I dreamt about a flood.  Surprise surprise it was the night I watched Titanic.  Last night I dreamt that my ex (who was extremely abusive but who I haven't seen in 15 years) was chasing me.  I was running and running but I couldn't move very fast and he had a whole gang with him.  I was running uphill but the worse thing was that I had Mr 7 with me and he was going very slow.  I had to keep dragging him.  Then all of a sudden I also had an xbox under my arm (?) and I knew I couldn't drop it coz Mr 7 would be very upset but they were gaining on us and I was so scared of what they would do to Mr 7.  What do you think?  Is that because of Titanic too???  Stupid movie!  I was so exhausted when I woke up as though I had been running in mud all night.

I'm off to bed now.  Hopefully my brain is done with the Titanic...

A Titanic Imagination

Right now I am watching Titanic which is something I should never do while I'm PMS-ing.  I am an incredibly over-emotional person.  I consider it to be one of my worst traits.  I wish I were more of a hardass but everytime I try to be I end up guilting myself to death.  I also am unfortunate enough to have the other trait that you wish you didn't have when you are overly emotional....an overactive imagination!  Everytime I watch a disaster movie I imagine what it would be like to be in that situation with my children...and then I cry and cry.  I wonder how on Earth I would be able to hang onto the railing while the Titanic snaps in half and make sure my kids are hanging on too.  What if one of them fell?  Miss 12 has incredibly skinny arms.  How would I be able to go on and save the others while suffering from the worst kind of grief known to man?

I get upset when they lock the lower class down below.  Back then ladies were ladies.  I would not only kick down that gate but I would then proceed to kick the arses of everyone who was on the other side!  I like to think I am a lady most of the time but I can turn Buffy if someone is threatening my kids.

The sight of the Irish woman laying down to die with her kids and the baby floating in the water is more than I can bear.  James Cameron knew what he was doing when he added those scenes.

Every disaster movie seems to have a part where people must swim under water for quite a while.  I'm not a strong swimmer and I hate opening my eyes under water.  I'm pretty sure I would get lost along the way and drown me and the kids.

And now I'm starting to realise why I don't sleep well at night..........

For The Love of Seinfeld

I know I know.  Its been so long since I've written anything.  I've been trying to catch up on all my blog reading but no matter how hard I try the google reader still says 1000+ blog posts to read.  It has been a mad house here as I'm sure it has been everywhere else with Christmas only 3 weeks away and all.  School has finally finished for the year but there are concerts to go to, presents to buy and the rest of the year-round general crap to deal with.

The TV has been playing a lot of Seinfeld episodes lately so I've been watching them while I'm doing all the boring stuff.  I love Seinfeld.  I wish it never ended but I'm glad it did before it got stale.  I hate when TV shows do that.  You can tell they're running out of ideas but they just keep going and going.  I think Simpsons is one of these.  I used to love the Simpsons but I haven't laughed at any of the new ones.  I'd say they should quit while they're ahead but I think its too late.  At least Seinfeld went out on a high note.

Tonights episode was the one where Jerry gets audited for donating to the Krakatoan Volcano Relief Fund (see how I capitalise each word as if it were a real thing).  During the episode Elaine asks if the woman George is dating put Jerry's tax papers in a pocketbook or a handbag.  It must have been a good 10 - 15 years since this show first aired but I have always wondered what is the difference?  So to all you American bloggers out there could you please put me out of my misery and tell me what the difference is between a pocket book and a hangbag...

Happy Birthday Turtle!

My little turtle Mr 6 is now Mr 7!  I can't believe how grown up he is now.  He is my baby and I am finding it hard to tell people my youngest is 7.  I feel so old!  It was bad enough when I was telling people my oldest is 7.  Of course I did start having babies at 10 :) 

I can't believe its been 7 years since I bought the little pumpkin head home.  It seems like a lifetime ago.  He's still as cute now as he was then.  Such a beautiful little boy who always makes me laugh.  The things he says are priceless.  His energy knows no bounds.  He bounces from one wall to another, always getting into mischief which was why I think he was made so beautiful...because it makes it harder to be mad at him.  I bought him a new bike, a bigger one with stunt pegs and such.  Not that I want him to use them.  He got on it and just flew away.  I was going crazy with how fast he was going.  He takes to anything like a fish to water.  I am so proud of him...even if I do miss his littler version everyday.

Happy List

13.  Feeling so proud of my kids

Hate List

15.  My kids growing up

                      

More drama

Today was actually a really good day.  Nothing exciting happened. I didn't win any money, I didn't lose any weight, I didn't have a great hair day...but it was peaceful.  It was productive and calm and everything went the way it should.  It wasn't too hot or too cold.  It was the kind of day I dream about but don't often experience.  Then I went to pick the kids up from school.....

About 2 months ago Mr 6 gets in the car and tells me A called him a tiny, little bitch (I think that's what he said anyway, it was a while ago now).  A is in Miss 11's year level.  I could see her sitting in the grass and I was in my car which was a little distance away so I yelled out to her (yelled out to her, not AT her).  I yelled out 'A'.  She goes 'what?' I said 'did you call Mr 6 a tiny little bitch?'  She said 'no' so I said 'look don't call him names and just stay away from each other ok?'  Then I drove off.  No big deal.  Forgot all about it.

The next day C (an absolute instigator who is always trying to start fights.  I know why she is the way she is.  Her mother is an absolute piece of trash who just had another baby with another different man so C doesn't get a lot of attention.  She's only 11 and I feel sorry for her but I find it hard not to be annoyed by the things she does) told Miss 11 that Mr K was going to ring her mum (me) and that I was going to be in a lot of trouble because I yelled at A.  Miss 11 told me about it when she got home and I said Mr K can ring me all he wants because I didn't yell at A, I only asked her if she was calling my son names.  I never got a call from the teacher and once again forgot about the whole thing.  It seemed ludicrous to me anyway and I told Miss 11 that C was just trying to cause arguments between all the girls again.

So today I pull up at the school behind a white car.  The woman in it is screaming and yelling at Mr 16, all I can hear is F this and F that.  Mr 16 told her to F off and flipped her off which I would not normally approve of but am so proud that he was sticking up for himself against this deranged woman.  Then she yelled out 'And tell your mother she's a slut.'  I was taken aback.  I had no idea who this woman was.  If you knew me you'd know I'm far from a slut.  I'm always wearing jeans and baggy sweaters and in the last 16 years I've been with 2 men so if I'm a slut then I'm the lamest one I know.  And why this woman felt the need to say this to my 16 year old son shocked the hell out of me.  I beeped the horn at her.  She yelled out F off and flipped me off out her car window.  I walked over to her and said 'whats your problem?'  The ranting and raving that ensued told me that she was A's mother and that my kids were picking on her kids and blah blah blah.  I told her that I would tell her what happened if she just calmed down and stopped talking over top of me.  She shut up so I told her exactly what happened.  I told her that her kids had been picking on mine and that I didn't yell at A, I only asked her if she said what Mr 6 said she said.  Then she told me that Mr K had told her that I was swearing at and abusing A!  I was livid.  I couldn't believe that a teacher would straight out lie about me.  I had no reason to believe this woman wasn't telling the truth because she would have had no reason to be so upset otherwise.  Also I think she works at the school and she had to have known I would confront the teacher so I didn't even contemplate the thought she may be lying.  I told her it was a total lie, I don't swear at and abuse 11 year old girls.  Then a teacher came over and asked her if she was ok!  Like I was attacking her! She was the one swearing, she was the one abusing my child and she gets asked if she's ok!  I couldn't believe it.  I told the teacher we were just having a conversation.  He told us to move on.  I told him that we were on public property that had nothing to do with the school and we would move on when we were finished.  He starts ranting and raving that we can't be swearing in front of children.  He was speaking to me by the way because I apparently used the word 'ass', not speaking to her who up until 2 seconds before was using the F word like a sailor.  Also there were not a lot of children out there, most of them were mine and hers, and the kids at this school know more swear words than I do.  I said to him that we could've finished our conversation in the time it took him to rant that and continued on.  I told her the problem could be solved if she told her kids to stay away from mine and I would tell my kids to stay away from hers.  She agreed, I got back in my car.

So I'm sitting there waiting for the kids to put their bags in the boot and the teacher comes up level with my window and starts staring at my kids in the back seat!  I said 'Do you need something?'  He said no.  So I said well what are you looking at?  He goes nothing so I said well move along then.  He walks off just staring at me then goes have a nice day.  I fought the urge to flip him off.

This is a couple of days later now, I didn't get to finish.  Anyway the teacher was on camp until the next day so the next day I went up to him and asked him why he was saying stuff about me when he didn't even know me and he wasn't even there when the incident happened.  He said he hadn't said a word to A's mum!  She just outright lied!  She was standing up the road and when she saw me talking to Mr K she couldn't get in her car fast enough.  I'm not exactly sure what is wrong with people.  Are all people like this or am I living in Crazy Town?

Happy List

12.  Days that just go right

Hate List

12.  Lunatic women who think they can swear at and abuse my children

13.  Liars

14.  Certain smug teachers at my kids school

Tears of Joy

Miss 11 left for camp this morning.  Her first camp!  I didn't know whether to be excited for her or be worried about her.  She was so excited I didn't think the camp was going to live up to her expectations but she rang after dinner and she said its even better than she thought it would be so I am so glad she is having a good time even though I already miss her like crazy!  It is so weird to not have her in the room next to me. Just another sign of how quickly they are growing up :(

Happy List

7.  Horses

8.  Alone time

9.  My kids growing up

10.  Crinkle cut hot chips

11.  Kiefer Sutherland

Hate List

8.  Headaches

9.  Roadworks

10.  Leaving your cash and cards at home when you've just travelled a great distance and need them

11. Broken fingernails

Now we're even!

What a Wonderful World

I spent today coughing continuously for the 7th day in a row, cursing my second course of antibiotics and wondering what on earth is wrong with me.  I got into a bit of a disagreement with the girl in the McDonalds drive through, we had a huge blackout, the weather went from winter to hot as hell mid-summer overnight, I ate too much crap and I felt bloated and lonely.  Then I heard a big crash in the backyard.  I went outside to investigate and it ended up being the tin on the shed roof rattling around because it had gotton incredibly windy all of a sudden.  I was only wearing a t-shirt but the wind was so warm and enveloping.  There was a full moon so even though it was dark it wasn't really dark.  It was so surreal.  I seriously could have stayed out there forever except my kids would have woken up to find their mother standing half naked in their backyard and called the loonie bin.  It made me realise that despite the crappy things that can happen in a day that leave you feeling stressed out and frustrated, there are still parts that make you feel glad you're alive.  Money problems, traffic, stupid people, long queques, automated telephone services....they don't exist when you're standing in your back yard wrapped up in a moment.  The new houses that are going up around my area are all stacked on top of one another.  They don't even have a big enough backyard to put a clothesline in.  How will they ever experience that feeling?  It makes me sad for them.

Anyway, you know how I sometimes put in highs and lows of the day?  Well I am going to number them and put them on the Things I Love/Things that Make me Happy list or the Things I Hate/Things That Piss Me Off list.   But it has to be stuff that has happened to me that day, no past memories of things gone good or bad, only current stuff. On New Years Eve I am hoping that my happy list will outweigh my hate list.  Fingers crossed.

Happy List

1.  My kids

2.  Warm breezes

3.  The full moon

4.  The warm fuzzy feeling you get when you remember something great that happened in your past

5.  Zyrtecs - because despite their non-drowsy claim, they put me to sleep faster than a brick to the face

6. A new digital tv channel

Hate List

1.  The stupid girl in McDonalds

2.  Waiting in line for half an hour for ice creams to be told the ice cream machine had overheated

3.  Idiots neglecting to tell me at either the speaker box or the money window that the ice cream machine had overheated

4. Blackouts - and the fact that when 2 traffic lights were out on a main road they had 4 police yakking it up at one set and absolutely nobody at the other set. Dangerous!

5.  Doctors who don't speak English.  How am I supposed to know what they are giving me if I can't understand them.  Yes I could learn an Asian language but the last time I checked this was Australia and I didn't think I needed to

6.  Antibiotics that don't work

7.  Coughing

Oops, looks like the bads are outweighing the goods at the moment.  Tomorrow I will deliberately look out for great things to balance it out.

Destiny or Drive?

Yesterday I watched the movie Knowing and started to ponder what I believed....do I believe in random events or do I believe everything happens for a reason?  Well this post isn't about that.  But it is about something else I've been pondering for a very long time.  Do I believe in Destiny or Drive?  This applies to life in general but to make a long story short I'll just stick with the relationship aspect right now.  Some people believe if it is meant to be, it will be.  Destiny right?  When my husband and I first started dating we found there were a lot of weird events that could have made us meet a lot earlier.  For example, we discovered his friends house was right across the road from my aunts house.  He would have been hanging out with his friend while I was visiting my aunt but we didn't meet.  Despite going to different high schools we were both very good friends with a guy who went to both schools.  We both knew other people and his cousin was engaged to a friend of my sisters.  There were many other coincidences but I moved interstate then moved back before I met him at my sisters house.  I thought this meant we were destined to be together.  We divorced after only 2 years (we were together 7 in total but only married for 2).  This shook up my destiny theory.  Other people have said destiny is what you make it.  You have to go after what you want.  You can't wait for it to fall in your lap. But I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be going for...especially in the love department.  How do you know which one is the one if destiny isn't providing?  I think rom coms have a lot to answer for.  Everyone falls head over heels in love with 'the one' but it cuts off while still in the romantic phase.  What happens when they move in together and find out they didn't have that much in common after all?  What if Rhett Butler had come back?  Would Scarlett have gone back to her old ways?  Would they have had another child?  Would it have bought them closer together or further apart?  What did Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks do after they left the Empire State Building?  Maybe they got to the bottom and one of them said a really racist comment that totally turned the other one off.  Could Richard Gere really get over the fact that Julia Roberts was a hooker or would it have been a recurring theme in future fights?   Were Andrew McCarthy and Molly Ringwald able to get over their socio-economic differences or did he just use her as a booty call until he went away to college?  These are things I think about people....yes it is weird inside my head.

So what do you think?  Do you think love happens or do you think you have to go out and grab it?  I'm interested to hear your opinions.

UPDATE...UPDATE...UPDATE!!!

I have been falling asleep really early lately thanks to a nice chest infection and this has caused me to be way behind in all my blog reading and commenting.  Everytime I get on here I have over 1000 posts to read and I think I am up to about October 6 at the moment.  I also haven't done any posts of my own which is horrible so here is an update of what I've been doing.

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  Catching perverts (see last post)
  
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  I've totally gone off Pepsi altogether and have been drinking heaps of water.  I also have been going to the gym and have been rollerblading and running.  Still have not seen any improvement on the scales though so I'm a little disheartened.
  
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  The exception to the above rule is I still have a Cherry Coke once a week during my weekly bubble bath.  It's a nice little treat and the other day I discovered Cherry Pepsi so I'll be trying that next bubble bath.
  
• My star sign for the other day said that if it was getting to be too much I should move on.  The next day it said it was a great day for my relationship.  If I had followed the first day's advice I wouldn't have had a relationship to have a great day the next day!!!
• I discovered that Cherry Pepsi tastes exactly like Cherry Coke. Or maybe its because of my coughing and what not.
• Australians do say Oi.  When I was asked this question I actually thought that I didn't say it but when I thought about it I realised that I do sometimes but its not in a 'Aussie Aussie Aussie oi oi oi' chanty way.  Its more in an angry way like 'Oi, what do you think you're doing?' or 'Oi, get the hell off of there!'
• The other day when I went in for my Cherry Coke and Cherry Pepsi (I didn't want to play favourites) I saw Cherry 7-Up!  I didn't even know they had it but apparently there is a new one to try.
• Rollerblading isn't harder than regular skating.  You just have to get used to it.  But I used to ice skate as well so it probably helped a little
• Amo, I had the Xanadu record too.  Now I have it on i-tunes.  It will always be a favourite.
• Waiting for love sucks big time.  I'm no spring chicken and you start to wonder if it even exists at all.  Are other people just settling?  If they're not and they're all with the loves of their lives then where is mine?  Its a conundrum.  My mum used to say there is a lid for every pot.  I'm still not sure if I'm the lid or the pot but lately I'm starting to think I'm a frying pan!
• Have just found out that I don't have a chest infection at all.  Apparently it is my sinuses leaking into my chest.  How utterly gross!  I just keep coughing and coughing uncontrollably.  It is horrible.  I have gone through one set of antibiotics and am starting another lot tonight with some antihistimines thrown in for good measure.  It keeps waking me up during the night so I have had no sleep for a week!  I am one cranky girly!

To Catch A Pervert

I had a bit of excitement last Thursday.  Miss 10 left her sports uniform at home so I told her I'd drop it off later so later, me and a friend went around to the school.  As we approached the school we saw this guy standing inside the school gates.  He seemed so suss, he was standing behind a mound of dirt facing towards the kids who were doing sport on the oval.  I said to my friend 'what is that guy doing?'  He slowed down and then he said 'he's jerking off!'  He slammed on the brakes and started reversing up the road.  I could see the guy grabbing at his pants to do them up then he started walking off...straight towards the school.  We pulled up right opposite him and my friend was yelling 'Oi, Oi' at him.  He wouldn't turn around, he just kept walking.  My friend told me to call the police and went running after him.  I called the police and told them there was a man exposing himself inside the school grounds.  I sat there and waited and noticed that my friend had finally caught up with him right outside the school which was a fair distance away.  As I was sitting there, I looked across the road and noticed the bus was sitting there running with the door open but there was no bus driver.  Then it clicked....the pervert was the bus driver!  The police showed up and questionned him.  He said he was urinating and he was human and sometimes it happens.  I said if you didn't think you were doing anything wrong why did you try to run away?  He said that he had some time before the bus was supposed to take off so he thought he'd go for a walk.  I said 'what a load of s**t!'  I pointed out at least 5 places he could have peed without being seen.  I said most people who pee in public make sure they're somewhere private and they face away from people, they don't face directly towards children.  And even if he was just urinating as he claims, he still had his penis out in school grounds in full view of a whole group of kids.  Creep!  They actually let him drive off in his bus but luckily he'll have to go to court and the bus company is doing an investigation.  That's what they reckon anyway.  Surely they would have to speak to the witnesses if they were actually doing an investigation and I haven't heard from anyone.  What a perve!

What is Love?

Love freaks me out.  You see such a broad range of it while reading other people's blogs.  They are so happy when they're in love and when it all blows up in their faces, you can actually hear the pain in their words.  I've never seen such an extreme change in emotion.  From love to hurt to anger and resentment.  I'm not even sure what love is and after reading about everyone else, I'm not sure I want to.

Whip It

I took the kids to see Whip It last week.  It was so awesome.  It was a great movie (made me cry in parts) and it reignited a passion in me that had been long gone.  I loved to skate when I was a kid.  Don't laugh but I used to put on the Xanadu soundtrack and skate around my backyard singing at the top of my voice.  I was 7 so its cute rather than embarrassing right?  Well thats what I tell myself anyway.  I was so proud of my skates.  They were exactly like Kira's and I had the best ones out of all my friends. And I was really good at it too. I could do all sorts of stuff on them.

My next goal was to add exercise into my life since cutting back on the Pepsi  hasn't done much for my waistline.  I was going to do the Couch to 5k program but I haven't been motivated to do it mainly because I hate to run!  Then I thought 'why don't I skate instead?' 

So I went straight out to get some skates.  I was surprised to find that nowhere sold skates.  I had to settle for a pair of rollerblades.  I drove down to the park, sat in the car while I put them on, then fell out of the car.  I was not prepared for the wheels to  move out from under me so fast.  I grazed my knee and my hand and broke my nail so far down that it bled.  But I still went off skating and had such a fun time!

I went out again today.  I hit a twig and a rock and slid through a puddle but still managed to stay upright.  But the best thing was I was sweating like a pig!  If this doesn't make me lose weight nothing will...

Finally!

I got the nicest surprise in the supermarket today.  I have heard about Dr Pepper and Cherry Coke from all you Americans for years and years (on tv before there were blogs).  We got Dr Pepper here about 15 years ago (or around about that) but it didn't last long.  I don't think many people liked it that much.  So today I was in the supermarket and I looked over at a fridge that I never look at and I saw Dr Pepper!  I was really surprised that you could still actually buy it here.  Then I looked next to it and there was Cherry Coke!  I've never seen one in real life before!  So of course I bought it.  At $2.70 per 350ml can it was a bit pricier than what I usually would pay. (I usually pay about $2 for a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi).  I took it home and poured out some for me and the kids.  And it was quite nice!  Of course the kids loved it.  But I don't give them soft drink very often so they would love anything with bubbles.  It was unusual tasting but I could definitely get used to it.  Of course I am supposed to be weaning myself off of Pepsi and onto water....not onto Cherry Coke.  But it will be nice for special occasions.....

My Addiction

I just had the weirdest feeling. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs or gamble and I'm not a shopaholic (yes I am that boring!)  I don't think I have an addictive personality since I am not addicted to any of the major ones.  I am addicted to Pepsi but as you may know, I have been cutting back to one glass per day (and doing a good job I might add).  However, I was just in the bathroom when I got a mad craving.  It was really intense like the feeling that you have to have chocolate when you're PMS-ing or the feeling of having to have some weird food RIGHT NOW! when you're pregnant.  But it wasn't for Pepsi, it wasn't for weird food (no I'm not pregnant) and it wasn't for any illegal substances....it was to watch something with Kiefer Sutherland in it!  Now that has to be the strangest craving in the world right?  From one addiction to another...   :)

Happy Birthday B!

Miss 9 is now Miss 10!  Double digits!  She is growing up so fast.  I was watching some home video of her last night when she was 7 and she looks and sounds so much younger.  She is so very bright and has such an incredible future ahead of her. I think she'll be a lawyer because she argues incessantly and won't give up until she wins.  She wants to be a vet though.  She never lets anyone tell her what to do.  She's as stubborn as a mule and I admire her so very much for not letting people run all over her.  She's so beautiful, smart and talented and the things that come out of her mouth sometimes are hilarious!  You're an awesome little girl B and I am so lucky to have been given the job as your mother.  Happy Birthday Beautiful!  And I hope you enjoy your shopping trip!

My Modem Hates Me

Hi everyone!  Just letting you know that I wasn't sucked up by a huge black hole.  I was nearly caught up on all my blog reading (I was only 4 days behind) then my Internet decided it hated me.  I've been having trouble with it for days so now I have no idea how behind I am.  I promise I will catch up and comment to you all but its 1am and I have to get up at 5am so I will have to do it tomorrow as long as my internet is still working (fingers crossed).  I have lots to tell...rollerblading accidents, arrogant cops, great movies, tote bags, delicious cakes...its all good and interesting stuff so please come back tomorrow!!!

Horror-scopes

This was my horoscope for today.

Your lovescope for September 30, 2009 If you have been entertaining fantasies about meeting a certain dark, mysterious person, then your dreams may well come true today. You could find them in the most unlikely place - but once your eyes meet, you will know that this is it. This is the one you have been waiting for, and here they are, at last, right in front of you!

Can you say excited???  I actually let myself get carried away with this.  Imagine a dark mysterious stranger who would turn out to be the one!  It set off a whole myriad of fantasies. I imagined having someone in my life who I could talk to, depend on, have fun with.  Someone who I could share secrets knowing they wouldn't laugh at me, someone who would think about me during the day, someone who would love me as much as I loved them. I looked out the whole day and the only men I saw were a teenager loading an unbelievable amount of alcohol into his boot and the guy who makes me feel worthless on a daily basis.  I'm pretty sure someone who makes me cry all the time or a burgeoning alcoholic are not my 'the one'.

Alas it was not meant to be today.  It was a crushing disappointment but I'm hoping he's out there somewhere and he won't wait until I'm too old to care.

In the meantime I'm thinking about bringing a lawsuit against the horoscope writers.  How dare they get my hopes up like that!!!!!

The P-ed off 6 Year Old

Guess what I was woken up by this morning?  Yep, the water company.  They decided to start down my end of the street (very early).  It is typical it just happens to be school holidays, the only time I get to sleep in just a little bit.  I didn't have any trouble getting my car out the driveway but had to move a whole truck to be able to get back in.  Now they've gone home leaving their heavy machinery parked up the curb and a gaping hole in the road.  But it is totally safe because they put a witches hat next to it *rolls eyes*  In my experience children are more likely to be attracted to bright orange plastic than repelled by it.  I'm hoping I don't find any little bodies in there tomorrow.  I'm keeping mine inside just to be safe. 

But I must laugh at their naivete.  In my neighbourhood that heavy machinery will either be gone or graffittied within an inch of its life by morning.  And there's absolutely no way that witches hat will still be there.  Some bogan will be proudly displaying it in their window.  Might get up early to watch the reactions  :)

On a lighter note, I thought I would share something funny that Mr 6 said.  He still has a babyish voice so you have to imagine it said in that tone.

I had just woken up (via machinery) when Mr 6 knocked on my bedroom door.  I knew he'd want me to do something so I just stayed quiet and pretended I was still asleep.  There was a slight pause then I heard 'Stuff it.  No-one's answering anyway'.  Where does he get this stuff from?  It made me laugh and laugh...

Highs of the Day

Not being dizzy when I woke up

Mr 6's comment

Spending time at the stables

Lows of the Day

Waking up to machinery

Nearly having my car crashed into by an old man cutting the corner

Goal Update
Have only been drinking one glass of Pepsi a day
Only had one glass of water today but that's still an improvement
Have been using a smaller plate and have cut down on my portions
So far so good!  Will try to add some exercise tomorrow :)

To The Creep Who Was Standing Behind me in the Supermarket - I know that you were possibly so mesmerised by my beauty in my jeans and baggy sweater that it was hard for you to stay away but if I can feel your disgusting hot breath on the back of my neck, you are standing way too close!  Trying to merge us into one being (thereby making me a person who has to wear a Jim Beam t-shirt and skin tight jeans) will not get you through the check out any faster.  Standing a couple of metres behind will produce the exact same result except I won't have your nasty spit bubbles in my hair.  And you don't have to give me a filthy look because my package of hamburger meat got caught on the conveyor belt preventing you from loading your own groceries onto it.  You could have been a good samaritan and pushed it back on instead of looking at me as though I am wasting your time.  I'm sure you have lots of places to go and lots of important things to do.  People who look like they haven't had a shower in 3 years and are shopping in Jim Beam t-shirts in the middle of a work day usually have tonnes of stuff on their schedule.  On second thought, kind of glad you didn't touch my food....

Off to a Bad Start

The first day of the new and improved me didn't go exactly to plan.  For some reason I woke up this morning, took 2 steps towards the door and fell into the wall!  Luckily I had the presence of mind to stick my body out thus avoiding the tv (with my dizzy spells and big hips, that tv is going DOWN!)  So of course I go into total hypochondriac mode and start mentally ticking of what could be causing it -- brain tumour, brain infection, brain something????

I've been to the doctors about this before and was told to use nasal spray but my sinuses were actually fine for once.  It was suggested that I may be dehydrated.  Since I hate drinking water, am addicted to Pepsi and spent the whole night with the heater on high waking up in a puddle of sweat, I thought this may be a probability.  So I drank some water, nearly electricuted myself plugging my heater into a burnt out point and passed out on my bed.  I slept for hours and woke up feeling slightly better.

Until I found the note from the water company telling me (one day in advance) that they're going to be digging up my street for the next week to relay some pipes.  Yay!  I'll only be trapped inside my house for half the school holidays.  I can feel the fun coming on already.  But don't worry, the note says they'll be sure to tell me when they'll be blocking off my driveway so I can move my car.  Move my car where exactly?  Out into the street right next to their equipment and spraying asphalt?

Noisy kids, noisy equipment, noisy road workers and unexplained dizzy spells?  I'm trying to be less negative but my life is sure making it hard :)

PS Thank you all so much for your supportive words.  It means so much to me.

The (Soon to Be) New and Improved Me!

Firstly I must apologise if this pink text is annoying you.  I just felt like being a little girly today :)

Secondly I would like to apologise for all my whining and bitching over the last couple of weeks and for basically being a misery guts.  I have had a chance to really re-evaluate my life over the last week and I have spent many hours berating myself.  But I've also come up with some solutions so its not all bad.

My first decision was to stop.  Stop what you say?  Stop everything!  Stop doing what I'm doing, stop feeling sorry for myself, stop being so lazy.....just stop.  None of those things are working for me.

My second decision was to spend today writing a list of everything I want to do and have in the future...which I did.  My next decision was to write it here, in front of you guys, to hold myself accountable for the actions I have to take for the changes I want to make. (Next action....stop pretending to be a poet)

I'm not going to list every goal I made right here right now.  For one, it would take too long and for two, it would bore you to death and I need you all to be alive and well so I can be humiliated if I do something that is not congruent with achieving my goals.  But each Sunday, I will write here a new goal for the week that I will have to have done by the next Sunday or else face all of you with my head hanging in shame.

First I am going to concentrate on my weight.  It has been a problem for me for about 4 years now.  I can't blame the kids.  My youngest is 6 (do the math).  It is all on me.  The last few years have been particularly stressful for me and when I'm stressed I eat.  My whole life I have been very skinny.  I used to be teased in high school for how skinny I was.  I didn't even put on a lot of weight when I was pregnant and snapped back into shape right after the births without dieting or exercising.  I was blessed!  I thought it would last forever.  I didn't think it was possible to put on weight.  But then it happened...I turned 30.  Everything went downhill from there.  So today I am finally taking charge!  Especially because I keep hitting things with my hips....I'm obviously still a thin girl in a fat girls body because I still think I can fit through small spaces and today I almost knocked the new tv right off the table.

I wasn't going to admit to how much weight I had stacked on but one of my goals is to be braver so here goes.....I need to lose 20kg (44 pounds).  OK now that I have confessed you can close your gaping mouths!

So here's how I'm starting:

1.  Stop drinking Pepsi and start drinking water - I am a total Pepsi addict and I actually get a ripper headache if I stop drinking it for one day so I am going to be realistic and try to wean myself off it instead of going cold turkey and ending up in a bell tower popping off Coke drinkers.  I am setting myself the goal of only one glass per day for this week.  And I will drink 8 glasses of water a day.
2.  Cut down my portion sizes - This week I will start eating from a smaller plate so I can cut down the amount I eat

OK so that's it.  Hopefully I can keep that up for the week and I'll let you know how it went next Sunday (good or bad!)

My Shameful Weakness

I promised myself I wouldn't post anything until I caught up on all my blog reading but since I am still reading blogs from a week ago, I decided to unpromise.

Its been a crazy time and no, the changes have not been good and no, I am not going through menopause :)

Apart from Mr 6 bleeding from the head, buying and installing a new fridge and rear-ending a car out front of the school, I have been spending a lot of time contemplating a certain relationship and wondering why I am so weak.

I like to think I am a strong person. I once packed up all my stuff and a 2 year old and moved interstate by myself so I could start over. I escaped from an abusive relationship which almost killed me (literally). When Mr 6 was 3 months old, I broke my wrist (the one I write with) and still managed to keep it all together. I got through a divorce without despising my ex. To be cliche, when I get knocked down, I get back up again.

But my relationship with a certain person makes me feel ashamed of myself. It goes like this: get together, get treated like a worthless piece of crap, get dumped, sit at home while he screws every teenager in sight, get back together again. I don't know why I do it to myself. I always think it will be better the next time around and I'm always proved wrong. I feel disgusting just writing this.

I found the cartoon while looking for a picture of a broken heart and it couldn't describe the situation better. It's exactly how I feel. Why am I such a tool?

Edited: I just realised you can't really see the cartoon. She hands him her heart and says 'be careful with it..its fragile'. He drops it on the floor and says 'eh, it was worthless anyways'.

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I'm Not Dead

Just a quick note to let you all know that I am still alive and to say thankyou to all those who asked if I am ok (which was really sweet btw). I can't believe its been so long since I posted anything. I'm going through some major life changes at the moment and will be back asap. I've also got a LOT of blogs to catch up on. See you soon :)

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The Package or What Customer Service Part 2

I didn't want to do another post about frustrating things but I need to get this off my chest. This was actually happening at the same time as the tv thing so it was doubly maddening. I was expecting a package that I needed by Thursday night. On Monday night I got an email saying there was a problem with it so I rang the package delivery service on Tuesday (I won't name names out of the kindness of my heart but it is a major delivery service in Australia, but not Australia Post). They said they don't deliver to post office boxes so I had to give them my home address. Not a problem. I gave it to them and asked when I could expect it. They said it will be delivered Thursday, which I thought was a little strange since their depot is only 20 minutes from my house, but no big deal, I was getting it Thursday and I was happy with that. So on Thursday I planned to stay home until the package came then take the tv back to the store. Best laid plans hey?

We have a big fence out the front with 2 gates, one the car goes through and one visitors can go through. You can't see through the fence so just to be sure I couldn't possibly miss the delivery guy, I opened one of the car gates and sat in the front room with the window open so if I didn't see him, I would hear him. I waited and waited. At 12:30pm I thought I would ring the depot and ask if they possibly knew the approximate arrival time. The guy tells me he's already been. I told him he hadn't. He tells me to go look in my letterbox to see if there is a card in there. I go outside and sure enough, there is the 'Sorry we missed you' card. I told the guy that I had been sitting at home waiting all day and he didn't even step onto my property. He has obviously parked the car where I couldn't see it, gotton out of his car and just stuck the card in my letterbox without even bothering to knock on the door! He told me he would get in touch with the driver and ask if he'll come back. He puts me on hold and when he finally comes back on he tells me the driver has agreed to come back and drop off my package. He'll be here by 3pm. I love the way the driver 'agreed' to come back. If he'd just knocked on the door in the first place and done his job he wouldn't have to come back.

So I sit and wait again. It gets to 3pm and he's still not here. At 3.30pm when he's still a no show and I am late picking up the kids, I ring the depot again. The chick tells me there is nothing written on the computer about my last call and the driver couldn't possibly come back as he has a set route. My package will be delivered tomorrow.

I was livid! Not only did this dingus take off with my package, the guy on the phone outright lied to me! I bet he didn't even speak to the driver at all. And his lie made me wait around all day for nothing!

I was so mad I rang the depot and asked for the complaints department. She says 'do you have a complaint with a driver or a delivery?' I said both. She says she'll put me through. Some guy answers and I said 'Is this the complaints department?' He goes 'it can be.' I said 'wow. A smartass. That explains a lot.' He asks me what the problem is. I start to tell him but I'm not more than 3 words into it when he cuts me off and says he'll take care of it. I asked him what he was going to take care of. He says he'll take care of my problem. I said how can you take care of my problem when you haven't even heard the story? He says 'ok tell me the story'. So I tell him what happened and he says 'I don't know what you expect me to do. I just work on the dock. I don't even have anything to do with international deliveries.' Aaargh! Why did the women ask me if I had a complaint with the driver or the delivery if she was just going to put me through to some random depot worker anyway???? I mean, would it have made any difference either way???

Luckily (or unluckily depending on how you look at it) he gives me a number to call to speak to the guy in charge of international deliveries. I ring him and repeat my story once again. He tells me I can drive down to the airport after 6pm and pick it up myself. Since I had a prior appointment after 6pm and due to the fact that I didn't relish an airport run to pick up a package I had already paid delivery on, I asked him why I should have to. He tells me its the only way I'm going to get my package today. I told him, fine, I will come and pick it up but he can refund me the money I paid for postage. He says to me 'you haven't been charged for delivery'. I said of course I've been charged for delivery, you don't work for free do you? He's silent for a few seconds as though he's trying to contemplate how he manages to earn a wage when nobody pays for the service. Then he says my supplier has paid the postage. I tell him that the supplier paid the postage because I paid it to them, that its included in the purchase price. I said to him 'when you buy a book from Amazon, you pay for postage. Amazon don't just send you the book out of the kindness of their hearts. They don't pay the postage for you'. Again he is dumbfounded for a while then tells me my package will be delivered tomorrow.

The next day I am overly excited because I so desperately want to have a chat with the driver. When he arrives (actually entering the property and knocking on the door this time - who would have thought a delivery driver could do that?) I asked him 'what happened yesterday?' (BTW I was very nice, not as narky on the outside as I felt on the inside) He acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. I said 'why didn't you come onto the property yesterday to deliver the parcel?' He tells me he wasn't the driver yesterday, that the driver called in sick this morning and he was called in at the last minute to take his place. I didn't know whether to believe him or not (after all they'd already outright lied to me). I'm not sure if the driver really was sick or if he just didn't have the guts to face me or if the driver from the day before was indeed standing in front of me right now and was just pretending he was a replacement because he was afraid I would cause a confrontation. I didn't know but I just took the package and went inside. I was too tired to argue anyway (I was going through the tv thing at the same time remember). Once again I get stuffed around and big business goes on as usual. Thanks big business...

I e-mailed the people who sent me the package to thank them. I thanked them for their helpfulness, the quality of the product and how fast they got it to me (apart from the delivery once it got to Australia of course). Then it hit me. I was just profusely thanking someone for doing the job I paid them to do! Not that they don't deserve a thankyou but when did this world become a place where doing your job became a reason to have your butt kissed? Its only noticeable because of how many people DON'T do their job.

People I am begging you. Please remember that you are not doing something for me because you think I'm fabulous. You actually get paid to do stuff for me. It is your job to do what I ask. And I am not being unreasonable with my demands. Just deliver my package when I pay you to. Don't lie to me and tell me someone is coming back when you know they're not. Why would you want to waste my time like that? When I ask for a Big Mac and a coke I would like a Big Mac and a coke, not a sprite and a chicken nugget. And is it too much to ask that the food be edible? Or that you don't sneeze on my burger? Or that its mildly warm? And once in a while, even though you may not feel like it, why not toss me a smile? I promise it won't hurt a bit. I wouldn't even think about treating you any other way.

I know this has been long and tiresome and it might not even seem like a big deal to you. But I was already stressed with the tv and Mr 16 causing me grief about school and Mr 6 being sick and everything else that has been going on and it just felt like one more thing that was sent to drive me crazy. But I feel so much better now that I have let it all out. Thanks bloggy friends. :)

My Digital Nightmare

Well I have certainly had a frustrating couple of days! First I finally gave in and bought a digital tv with a built in HD tuner. Up until now I have refused. When the Government tells me they are going to be changing the system and I have to either replace all of my tvs or stick a set top box on all of them just so I can continue to watch mindless garbage, boring crap, mountains of infomercials and countless loud blaring ads, I get a little rebellious. While everyone has been out replacing their equipment, I have been continuing to watch my trusty old analog. But then the day came when the remote broke. I like to mute the ads because I don't need creepy people screaming at me to buy their stuff so I was heartbroken (and annoyed) at the loss. I bought one of those universal remotes. After tuning it in, I discovered it only worked on 2 channels and the mute and the volume buttons wouldn't work. It would have been funny if it wasn't so frustrating.

So I took it back to the store where the woman acted as though I was lying. 'Never had any trouble with these before' she said. 'Well you have now' I said. The remote I had bought was the top of the line one. I figured if that wasn't going to work one of the cheaper ones probably wouldn't either and did I want to waste that amount of my life trying to find out? So it was with a heavy heart I headed for the electronics store.

Now before I am accused of selling out and going against my convictions, I will state that I only bought a small one. It was for the bedroom anyway and I don't want a huge one in there. Thus far, I have not had any experience with digital television so I wasn't sure what to expect. I bought it home, took it out of the box, plugged it in, tuned it in. Except it wouldn't tune in. I kept trying and kept trying. For 2 hours I tried to tune the thing in, plugging in aerials, unplugging aerials, hooking it through the VCR (yes I still have one of those too)....they don't tell you about this on the ads. Finally, right before I had to go to pick the kids up from school, the channels appeared on the screen. They kept flashing on and off in a pixelating frenzy but they were there all the same. Sweet relief! I turned it off and went and picked up the kids.

We got home and all raced into my bedroom, having told the kids about it on the way and them getting way overexcited. I turned the tv on. No channels! After messing about with it for the whole night and half the next day, I realised that the channels would only tune in if the tv was on for about 2 hours and they would stay there as long as you never turned the tv off! I rang the store and asked if this was normal. They said it sounded like it was faulty so off to the store I go again. When I got it there the guy said (and I promise I'm not even making this up) 'Never had trouble with these tv's before'. 'That's what they all say' I said.

So I bought the new tv home. This time the channels tuned in straight away. Sweet! Then I notice that there is no channel 10. Since my favourite shows like Law & Order and Supernatural are on channel 10, there is going to be one moody cow in this house if there is no channel 10! I'm told I should use an aerial with an amplifier. Excellent because I already own an aerial with an amplifier. Plug it in, no good. I'm told I should go get a digital aerial. Back to the store I go. There I'm told that the best picture would come from an outdoor antenna. I have an outdoor antenna. Its not connected but its there. I'm told I need about 30m of coax cable and an assortment of connectors. I buy these items, get on the roof, connect the coax to the antenna, run the cable through the roof, try to get it down my wall to come out the bottom but it gets stuck on insulation and framing inside the wall so I just drill a hole through the ceiling and lower the cable through. Still no channel 10. Hours and hours pass of rearranging wires, repositioning cables, attaching and reattaching plugs and thing-a-majigs. Still no channel 10. I'm told I need a digital antenna which will cost me another $200+. They didn't mention this when they were advertising the exciting world of digital.

So now I have no channel 10, an overly pixelating channel 9 and horrible reception on the non-digital channels. But at least I have a remote....

RIP old analog tv. I will miss you....

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I'm Not Ignoring You :)

Just so you know that I actually do read and appreciate your comments I'm going to quickly reply to the ones that need replying to.

To Thankyou - considering my sister will go out and buy the exact same item that I do (no matter what it is) there is probably a little bit of jealousy involved there. I sometimes get the urge to buy crazy stupid ugly things just so she will put it in her house but I am yet to waste my money being so childish (although I'm not ruling it out for the future =) Its weird because I was always jealous of her because she had a much better relationship with our mum but who knows why people think the way they do?

4evernite - I am always apologising about something too! Even when its not my fault! Someone will barge into me and I apologise. Its nuts! I blame my mother for teaching me good manners but also giving me a guilt complex. It blends together to make sure I'm constantly saying sorry to people who don't deserve it. Even when I promise myself I'll never do it again! And you put me to shame by what you were reading.

Joey - Isla Fisher doesn't even live here anymore but I agree she is a cutie :) And you also put me to shame with what you were reading. Vonnegut? Please....

Amo - It wasn't a holiday weekend here in Australia. It was Fathers Day though. Hope you had a good one. You might be able to answer a question that has been plaguing me for years. Why can't you wear white after labour day?

Xazmin - I was going to tell you what the 5th line on page 161 of Gone With The Wind was but after searching the place upside down I am unable to find it. I'm sure one of the kids has done something to it so now I am in a stroppy mood.

Cashmere Librarian - good to know the bag will be well made. Its always a bit of a risk when you buy something from somewhere you've never purchased from before. I just hope the inept people who deliver parcels in Australia don't do any damage to it before I get it! Was it Newcastle where your neighbours were staying? I'm in South Australia which is about 16 hours away from Sydney.

Metropolitan Mum - My son is 16 but he is so not ready to be a daddy! Its amazing how he can actually physically have children and if he did, no-one would take it away from him. He can barely look after himself! There are lots of 16 year old mums around here where I live. I find it quite sad that they've just given up their own childhoods like that. It is so hard. I hope my kids wait as long as possible. We have so little childhood and so many many adult years. Shame to waste it.

Summer - you better be feeling better girly :)

Twenty something Momma - It made me so happy that you presumed I had to 'flip back' to page 161. I'd have been devastated if you'd have thought I wasn't that far along yet :)

I hope you all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend and I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your comments. I look forward to getting to know you all better =)

I know I've been off the radar for a few days. I desperately want to tell you about what happened in the last couple of days but promised myself I wouldn't post anything until I finished playing catch up with everyone else's blogs. However I have just received my first ever award! It was presented to me by the lovely Twenty-something Momma and since I am so excited that somebody has actually gone out of their way to bestow such a wonderful award onto me and since I have a Securities Analysis and Portfolio Management assignment due in this afternoon and it is making me pull my hair out, I thought this should be my number one priority.

Here are the rules for the Over the Top Award:

USE ONLY ONE WORD! It’s not as easy as you might think. Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It’s really hard to use only one-word answers.

1. Where is your cell phone? Jeans

2. Your hair? Yuck!

3. Your mother? Needy

4. Your father? Absent

5. Your favorite food? Fatty

6. Your dream last night? Weird

7. Your favorite drink? Gassy

8. Your dream/goal? Travel

9. What room are you in? Bedroom

10. Your hobby? Blogging

11. Your fear? Rejection

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? USA

13. Where were you last night? Here

14. Something that you aren’t? Snobby

15. Muffins? Chocolate.

16. Wish list item? BMW

17. Where did you grow up? Australia

18. Last thing you did? Studied

19. What are you wearing? Jeans

20. Your TV? Loud

21. Your pets? Exciteable

22. Friends? Away

23. Your life? Stagnant

24. Your mood? Stressed

25. Missing someone? Always

26. Vehicle? Dirty

27. Something you’re not wearing? Hat

28. Your favorite store? Myer

29. Your favorite color? Purple

30. When was the last time you laughed? Today

31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

32. Your best friend? Funny

33. One place that I go to over and over? Foodland

34. One person who emails me regularly? Tab

35. Favorite place to eat? Home

That was quite hard to only use one word!

And now I am passing this onto these 5 wonderful bloggers:

Breadwinner Wife

Insomniac Mummy

4evernite

amourissima

erin

Have fun guys and thanks again Twenty-something Momma!

Tag I'm It!

I've been tagged by the lovely TwentySomethingMomma (who by the way has the most gorgeous kids in the world - apart from my own of course)
The rules are:

1. Collect the book that you have most handy.

2. Turn to page 161.

3. Find the 5th complete sentence.

4. Cite the sentence on your blog.

5. Pass it on to 5 other bloggers.

Now I will confess that when I got this I did, for a moment, contemplate running out to the loungeroom and grabbing a copy of Gone With The Wind or some other epic classic (kind of like a 'What, this old thing? I just had it lying around' but in a book version rather than an outfit). But in the spirit of truthfulness, I did grab the book that was most handy and that was Stephen King's 'The Dark Half'.

The 5th complete sentence on page 161 is:

'Perhaps they would begin after Alan called back.'

That was kind of disappointing. I was hoping for a bit more excitement than that. But it was sort of interesting.

These are the bloggers I am tagging with this. (I put everyone in a random number generator because I hate choosing between people.)

Summerwind

4evernite

Sweet Caroline

heliotrollop

llama

Have fun!

I Need Another Baby

Just found these pics of nurserys.

Are they too gorgeous for words or what? I snagged these pics from pewter + sage . So makes me want to have another baby. I guess I'll be waiting for grandkiddies but since my oldest is only 16 I'm kind of hoping I'll have a long wait. But when that day finally comes that kid is going to be spoilt rotten!! I just don't know which look to choose....

Monogram Madness

Living in Australia is great. It is a really nice place to live and I've always felt fortunate to be born here. We have a pretty good health system and welfare system and a pretty decent standard of living. It has its low points but on the whole I'd rather live here than Iraq.

But I have (not so) secretly been harbouring an obsession with all things American my whole life. The introduction of this thing called the Internet has only served to deepen my addiction. Now I don't just have TV to get information from. But reading other peoples blogs has led me into a whole new territory.

Before I started reading blogs I didn't even know what a preppy was. Gossip Girl is sending my head into a spin. Do people really live like that? I'm coveting head bands, park avenue apartments, anything J Crew. FAO Schwarz, Central Park, dorm rooms, pep rallys are making me salivate. How did I ever get by without having anything monogrammed?

These kind of things just don't really exist here in Australia. I'm sure somewhere in Aus someone has a headband. But its just not the same. I was sitting here wondering if the sale of a kidney would get me a plane ticket over there then it struck me like a brick in the head. We live in the Internet age. We live in an age where we can order anything from anywhere! Yes I know I'm a little slow but better late than never right?

Then I saw it. Jen from A Girl in Pearls and a Boy with Toys has posted a pic of a tote bag from L.L. Bean that her soon-to-be-husband had bought her.

This is it. So I ordered it! I got it with the black trim and I had it monogrammed!!! My first monogrammed item. I feel like I'm going to cry....

I'm so excited even though it will take 2-4 weeks to get here but when it does I will post a pic of it with my very own initials on it.

In the meantime I am going to monogram everything I own.

Jen also got these as a gift from her bridesmaids.

Aren't they too too adorable? I guess I'll be needing a cute passport cover soon too because I'm going to get to America or die trying. You can live on one kidney right?