Destiny or Drive?

Yesterday I watched the movie Knowing and started to ponder what I believed....do I believe in random events or do I believe everything happens for a reason?  Well this post isn't about that.  But it is about something else I've been pondering for a very long time.  Do I believe in Destiny or Drive?  This applies to life in general but to make a long story short I'll just stick with the relationship aspect right now.  Some people believe if it is meant to be, it will be.  Destiny right?  When my husband and I first started dating we found there were a lot of weird events that could have made us meet a lot earlier.  For example, we discovered his friends house was right across the road from my aunts house.  He would have been hanging out with his friend while I was visiting my aunt but we didn't meet.  Despite going to different high schools we were both very good friends with a guy who went to both schools.  We both knew other people and his cousin was engaged to a friend of my sisters.  There were many other coincidences but I moved interstate then moved back before I met him at my sisters house.  I thought this meant we were destined to be together.  We divorced after only 2 years (we were together 7 in total but only married for 2).  This shook up my destiny theory.  Other people have said destiny is what you make it.  You have to go after what you want.  You can't wait for it to fall in your lap. But I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be going for...especially in the love department.  How do you know which one is the one if destiny isn't providing?  I think rom coms have a lot to answer for.  Everyone falls head over heels in love with 'the one' but it cuts off while still in the romantic phase.  What happens when they move in together and find out they didn't have that much in common after all?  What if Rhett Butler had come back?  Would Scarlett have gone back to her old ways?  Would they have had another child?  Would it have bought them closer together or further apart?  What did Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks do after they left the Empire State Building?  Maybe they got to the bottom and one of them said a really racist comment that totally turned the other one off.  Could Richard Gere really get over the fact that Julia Roberts was a hooker or would it have been a recurring theme in future fights?   Were Andrew McCarthy and Molly Ringwald able to get over their socio-economic differences or did he just use her as a booty call until he went away to college?  These are things I think about people....yes it is weird inside my head.

So what do you think?  Do you think love happens or do you think you have to go out and grab it?  I'm interested to hear your opinions.